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About The Basics™ ReBrilliance starburst

Below is an excerpt from Green Beans and Legacies... and 15 other reflections about raising winning and achieving children, by Robert Newberry-available on

Green Beans & Lagacies BookSuccessfully raising children requires both a parent with something to teach and a child who wants to learn. In order for this to take place, parents must have credibility in the eyes of their children. Credibility is a clear sign that your children value what you say and look to you for guidance and direction.

Two significant transitions take place when parents successfully raise their children. First, the children mature from being dependent infants to becoming independent, moral, purposeful adults. Second, parents move from being nurturers and teachers of their young children within a context of authority to being friends and coaches to their adult children. The fulcrum that these successful transitions hinge on is how parents exercise their parental authority. The effective use of parental authority successfully addresses many of the developmental needs of children and enhances parental credibility. It is what allows parents to successfully nurture and teach their children.

Successful parents understand that credibility, the ability to teach and influence their children, is earned. It is not a given that comes along with the title of parent. While credibility is ultimately rooted in mutual respect between parent and child, I find that some parents are confused about credibility and parental authority. Some equate credibility with seeking their child's approval on various matters. Others think that credibility is gained through fear. For this reason, I have developed a series of Basics for parents to use in exercising their authority. I have found that without these Basics, many parental conversations—efforts to influence—are empty and redundant. However, with the foundation of the Basics solidly in place, those conversations can become meaningful and significant.

The Basics™ ReBrilliance starburst

  1. The responsibility of raising a child lies squarely on the parent's shoulders.
  2. A child earns privileges by successfully assuming responsibilities.
  3. A parent's example serves as a very influential model for a child to follow.
  4. A consistent, predictable environment allows a child to better understand the predictable structure of adult life.
  5. A parent's dreams for his or her child's future are very influential in the child's life.
  6. A lot of quality time is required to raise a winning and achieving child.
  7. A child's dignity and intrinsic value are derived largely from his or her relationship with the parent(s).
  8. Teaching a child a faith-based orientation to life is vital.
  9. A primary task of a parent is taking the mystery out of winning and achieving for the child.

If you would like to include the contents of this page in your organization's newsletter, please email to request a printer-friendly PDF version.

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